La Policia

We made it a whole month without a run-in with la policia, but it was only a matter of time. For a police situation, this was very mellow. But I will share the story just for fun.

Yesterday morning, there were 4 of us in a pickup truck driving back to the house where we have been staying in Antigua. Our Saudi friend, Faisal, was driving. I was riding shot-gun and Julie and Jill were in the back seat of the cab. Additionally, Mario one of the Guatemalans who work for our host family was riding in the truck bed. We just happened to accidently go the wrong way down a one-way street. Oops.

SWARM. Two police trucks and a motor bike cop pull us over. I am quickly hiding the iPods, lap tops and cameras that we had in the truck. I knew a bribe was eminent. I wanted to appear as poor as possible.

An officer in full camouflage walks up to the driver side window. He has a very impressive 3 foot long automatic gun strapped across his chest. He asks for our registration papers and Faisal’s license. Luckily we are able to find the papers, but Faisal does not have a Guatemalan driver’s license. The cop tells us that he is going to write us a ticket. Once given the ticket, Faisal is going to have to go to the department of motor vehicles in Guatemala City where he will have to pay $62 for breaking the law and $62 for driving without a license. I know this would be at least a full day experience for Faisal. I am sure that the government office he will have to visit is in a very sketchy part of town. Additionally, who knows what other kind of fees might be tacked on when he arrives. And $124 is a lot of money in Guatemala.

As the officer retreats to his truck to call on the papers and make sure everything is in order, I pull out $24. I look at Faisal and can tell he is thinking exactly what I am. “Let’s do this.” I tell him. We wave for Mario who jumps out of the truck bed to come talk with us.

Faisal (who is fluent in Spanish) asks Mario to talk with the cops and see if we could do an “instant fine.” Mario goes over to chat with the five cops standing behind our truck. He returns and tells us that they will let us go for $62. Faisal didn’t miss a beat. He tells Mario "$62 is just not in our budget. Please go back and bargain for a better bribe." Like a true champion, Mario goes back to the cops and returns to us with the new offer of $36. We were making progress. We tell Mario that we only have $24, or just under $5 for each cop, please try again. After a few more minutes of negotiation, it turns out that the cops will settle for our offer. So that the bribe is not too obvious, we are instructed to wrap the money inside the car registration papers and send it back over.

Problem solved, no ticket given, everyone is happy. What a bargain. The first bribe of the grand world tour is already behind us, it feels good.